Day 24: A Future Pirate

PICTURES!!! Yeah! First off here are my cute crutch covers. They suck.

I’ve already put the ones we bought at Walgreens that are not cute at all, however, they are nicely padded. These pink & black ones may be cute, but that is all that they are. I might burn them along with the crutches once I’m all done with this stuff.

So, I only have two days left on the crutches I think. My doctor appointment is on Tuesday and he told me to bring those tennis shoes! So I’m so excited about the thought of not having to use these things. I am way irritated with them and hope I never ever have to use them again once this is all over. I can walk on my foot a lot better now, I can tell its healing, thank goodness. It was even a little itchy this morning, which is how all cuts usually feel when they are heeling so I took that as a good sign.

I did take off the dressing and decide to take a shower the other day. It was an absolutely horrible crap experience! I got all ready – took the bandage off – had the shower water running, got ready to get in and realized…. I can’t stand up on this foot, so how in the world am I going to take a shower????? Well after about 5 minutes of brainstorming, I started crying (shocked?) and ended up taking a bath and washing my hair in the sink as I have been. So, the whole shower thing was a huge letdown. That’s what I’ve been doing. I just don’t feel comfortable standing on that incision. GROSS. It just grosses me out thinking that its going to get all dirty. Which brings me to….

23 days in…the Incision

There it is! My foot… that is yesterday morning, before the shower incident, so it was the first time that I took all the stuff off of it and saw it post-stitches. I think its pretty nasty looking. There was some blood on the bandages, which I’m hoping was just from when he had taken out the stitches. It does make me a little sick to my stomach that I can see the exact line where he cut the foot open. Hope it doesn’t gross anyone out too much!

 

I am walking around more and more on the foot. It’s very awkward though, my left leg stays straight and I take very small steps with it. Much like a Pirate with a wooden peg for a leg. Which is why I imagine I will be a full blown Pirate once I get off of the crutches on Tuesday. My only hope is that once the crazy slanted boot is gone that I will be able to walk like a semi-normal human. We’ll see. For now, my husband tells me the way I walk is highly unattractive. But, I don’t really care because it’s better than crutches!!!

Day 20: Just a Quickie

So, I know I haven’t posted in way too long. I feel bad also because my last post was…well, me feeling bad. Feeling a bit better now – emotionally that is. We’re getting there! Only 6 more days on crutches!

I had my computer and pictures(!!!!!!) to post last night, but my computer wouldn’t connect to the Internet. I think my computer does it on purpose, because I have no idea where it is today, so you’re getting the quick version -via iPad- with no pictures 😦

The foot is getting better every day! I can put my foot flat now when I’m sitting and it’s getting more and more comfortable to put weight on it. I think I am going to take my very first shower either tomorrow or Friday night! Knowing me, it will be Friday because I’ll be too nervous for tomorrow. I will take pictures of the incision for sure and post them. I did unwrap the ace bandage last night to see if the bruising on the bottom of my foot had calmed down, and it had. Don’t worry though, it’s still there – so you will get to see some of it. Funny thing is that it’s going to be a surprise to me also to see my incision without the stitches. I was so nervous at the docs office that I forgot to even look at it!

Okay well I’m getting awfully long-winded for a “quickie”…. And I’m not feeling well so I better get some rest! One cool thing – I’ve got some major triceps! Who needs P90x????

2 Weeks and Hopeless

Here’s something I learned today. It may not “hurt” to have stitches removed, but it sure is highly uncomfortable. I wouldn’t say that it hurt, but it did “hurt a little”. Dr. C told me it would.. and I believed him, If I remember correctly his words were  (after” it’ll hurt a little” ) something along the lines of – it’s definitely rough to have stitches removed on the bottom of your foot! I made it through, I didn’t even cry, but Dr. C is awesome and he took them out  gently and made sure I was doing okay. I told him about my problems walking on my foot, he basically said I could walk on it, or not walk on it, whatever I wanted to do. So apparently it’s not important that I walk on it now!  My foot is now bruised all in the middle of my foot and my second toe some. And this really sucks, but I didn’t get to take a picture of my foot before we wrapped it back up.. Sorry! I was busy asking questions and stuff so I didn’t get to. Oh, he did tell me to bring my tennis shoes with me to my next appointment.

Then the bad news all comes. So much for thinking I could take a shower. Dumpster foot remains. Still can’t get it wet for a few more days. He said I could take the dressing off in a couple of days and then get it wet. On crutches for another week and a half. You couldn’t have told me worse news. Enter the hopeless feeling……

Warning: For the remainder of this post I’m going to be very Negative Nancy-like.

I just don’t know how much more of this I can take. Its driving me crazy. I can’t do anything myself. I sit at my desk ALL DAY LONG just wishing I could get up and walk around, but I can’t. I just have to sit there. For whatever reason when I went to the doctor today I thought when I got the stitches out everything would get a little better, I thought it wouldn’t hurt to walk on it as much with the stitches gone, but I was way wrong. Hurts the same. I thought I’d be able to take a shower tonight, nope I had to wash my hair in the kitchen sink again, and take another bath. I think I cried the entire time though the bath. It’s just so depressing. I know it’s my fault going into the appointment today thinking that things would be better on the other end, then it not happening but I guess I was just trying to remain positive.

I’m not trying to make anyone feel sorry for me, so please don’t. I’m just expressing what an emotional wreck this whole thing has made me. I don’t think its just the surgery that’s making me feel this way, I think its more of the fact that I’ve been dealing with the pain and limitations from my foot for over a year and a half now. I can’t tell you the last time I jogged, or walked without pain, and now I can’t even get myself a glass of water. I know that its going to get better, but it’s still hard to see the light.

All I can say is thank goodness after tomorrow its the weekend. I don’t know if I could handle another day this week of trying to walk down the tunnels to get to my building. I really do hope I’m in better spirits by my next post because I don’t like to be this negative. Did I mention its been 2 weeks since the surgery?

Day 13: Called to the Principal’s Office

I have another appointment tomorrow to see Dr. C. I get the stitches out tomorrow, and I am so incredibly nervous about that. Has anyone ever gotten stitches taken out?? Does it hurt? I can’t imagine how it could possibly not hurt. Anytime I accidentally wiggle my toes or step down on my foot, it hurts like you wouldn’t believe. I’m about 93.78% sure that I will cry, at least it won’t be the first time I’ve cried in Dr. C’s office, hopefully he will just hand me a tissue like last time!

I’m also scared that I am going to get in trouble. I mean I’ve done everything I’m supposed to… haven’t gotten the foot wet, elevate when I can, nothing wild and crazy, but I still can’t walk on it. He told me to put weight on it, but it’s so uncomfortable. I found myself in a predicament this evening when I had a drink – that I REALLY wanted to drink, but was home alone. The drink needed to get from point A (my car) to point B (living room) somehow. I decided I would try to put weight on the foot and just go real slow. I made it, but I am walking on the side of my foot. It hurts like crazy to put the inside of my foot down (the arch side). So… I’m walking on the outer edge of my foot, and I’m terrified I’m going to end up fracturing something there or something along those lines. I don’t think Dr. C is going to like the fact that I have not been putting hardly any weight on it, but I’m just not going to do it while it hurts this bad.

Oh- and for yesterday, since it was Mardi Gras, I went out with some friends for dinner and drinks. That was the longest my foot was ever down and never elevated since the surgery. When I got home my foot looked like a small blimp. It was so swollen, and I couldn’t stop laughing my big toe. Swollen toes really are funny looking!

Oh, and I’m pretty sure that no more stitches means I can get the foot wet! It will be farewell to dumpster foot, and hello SHOWER! I should have some fun pics for tomorrow!!!!

Day 11 – “Its just hanging out – ya know, chillin”

As you can tell by my lack of posts, I had a rather uneventful weekend on the foot front. I’m still not in any pain when its just sitting there, it does throb randomly, but thats okay, still better than I was before. I do feel pain in two scenerios, one of which is when I try to walk on the foot (as I’m supposed to be doing…) however, it is highly unpleasant. Imagine walking around with a porcupine stuck to the bottom of your foot, a very small porcupine. So, I try to step down on my heel and the edge of my foot but I’m terrified I’m going to twist my ankle or lose my balance and accidentally put all my weight down on it… cuss words would go flying.

The second situation is irritatingly funny. It happens randomly when I’m not expecting it. Last night it happened when I was lying in bed about to fall sleep. You ever get a muscle that wants to move on its own, or a sudden urge to stretch a muscle. Well – my foot does, almost like a spasm and it will stretch out and my toes will want to stretch up and this by far hurts way more than anything else since the surgery. The bad part is that this is the pain I get most often. Its like my foot has its own little brain, and its sole purpose in life is to watch me cringe after it stretches out. Quit it foot.

Dumpster Foot

I do have a picture for today!! As we all know, I still can’t get my foot wet…. so I put it in a trash bag while taking a bath. I started looking at this earlier and just laughed at my nice little bow, and decided I would share. So there you go, I’ve posted my dumpster foot for everyone to see! I will do a little dance when I get to take a shower again.

As for the emotional side of all this, I’m feeling a little bit better this week. I was feeling pretty crummy last week when my back was hurting, and I was still getting used to the fact that I couldn’t do anything for myself. My back is now 100% better, I’m still careful to not overdo anything, because I don’t want that pain to come back. I am still incredibly frustrated and ready to get back to normal, at least I know I’m not alone in feeling this way – this blog did connect me to someone else that is going through this also! Nicola posted a (very long) comment on the “My Foot History” page – definately check it out, our stories share many similarities,i.e. taking forever to diagnose the actual problems, trying shots, staying off of it, and ultimately having the bone removed. It seems a fractured sesamoid is something hard to diagnose. What a pain!

Oh, and I did go to work today. I did really well! Didn’t fall. And everyone is extremely nice to the girl on crutches! I got more “Good Morning”s today than ever. How funny. I’m going to have arms of steel though by the time this is all over. All my coworkers welcomed me back and all of them asked how my foot was doing… and well “it’s just hanging out – ya know, chillin.”

Day 7: bleh

Today = uneventful. Sorry I don’t have any amazing or cool stories about how I got a crutch stuck on a tiny metal pole in the tunnels and fell on my face. Yeah, I ended up deciding to work from home. If there’s anything I’ve learned from this, it’s Don’t push it! I learned this from pulling the muscle – or whatever I did – in my back.

All I can tell you is that I’ve had to remind myself several times today (and this week) that I CHOSE to have this surgery. I wanted it! I was excited about it, damn I’m talking in past tense… I mean I’m still excited? Alright, I am, it’s just hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when your stuck on the ground! I know once I’m all healed up I’ll be good as new. I can’t wait for my first jog on the treadmill…..with my orthotics in, of course.

I’m going to become like an old lady…and tell people they shouldn’t wear too high of heels, and don’t wear flip-flops if your going to be walking a lot, and always make sure your shoes have the proper support in them. Damn, I sound like my Mom. (sorry Momma!)

Anyways, I usually like to post a little picture, something fun for you guys to look at, but I’ve got nothing for today, I slacked off in my sesamoid googling for today. Speaking of, if anyone knows how Keppinger is doing – let me know! You bet if I get close enough to him at a game I’m going to yell out “Hey Kepp, I had my sesamoid bone removed too!”. People will either hear what I said or assume I yelled something about a sesame seed bun and think I’m a lunatic. Well, wouldn’t be the first time at a sporting event with me….

Ah yes, back to my foot. It’s pretty awesome, I try to put a little weight on it, but it’s hard with that stupid slanted shoe on. Earlier this evening it was throbbing a bit, and it felt exactly like it did before the surgery, which made me forget for a brief moment that I had even had the bone removed! It’s not bothering me at all though, I’m mainly trying to keep my back in check. My back is winning though.

I’ll try to post something more fun and with pictures tomorrow, if I don’t have anything, I may not post ’til Saturday. Oh, the anticipation!

Day 6: Starvation & Crutches

Crutches are the devil.

 My foot was well-behaved today. It just sat there, not much pain. I took two ibuprofen this morning, but that’s it. I’ll probably take some more once my hubby gets home. I was working from home today, that went pretty well. I was a little groggy in the morning since I had taken Pain meds last night. Tomorrow I’m planning on going into the office, should be quite a circus considering I work downtown, and will have to walk on my crutches at least at block to get from the parking garage to my building. It will probably take me 45 minutes just to get back and forth. I’m sure I’ll have amusing stories.

Note to anyone having this surgery done: make sure you have someone to help you! I’ve been on crutches before – when I tore a ligament in my ankle last year, but its harder this time. I would like to think it’s not because I’m older since this was just last year! I think it’s because I can’t put weight on the ball of my foot, it makes a HUGE difference when trying to get up & down, and juggle something across the room! Make sure you have someone to help you do simple things like get food, drinks, ice packs, PAIN MEDS! My husband has helped me a lot through all this, let me tell you, we’ve gone through some STUFF the last few days. We’ll have lots of things to laugh about once this is all over. I’m sure he’ll be pleased to find out that I’m sitting here in the dark, starving, because its easier for me to sit here than get up to turn on the light! I’m saving my energy for tomorrow.

Oh – for those of you that still don’t know what a sesamoid bone is: here’s a little diagram.

See the sesamoid bone! We have two of them, I had the inner one removed.

In case you are on your own for a little bit, here are some things to prevent starvation & dehydration. I used a rubbermaid bottle that has a sealable top. I was able to fill it up and use a grocery bag to get it to the other room. For lunch I had a stupid hot pocket, because it’s the only thing I could prepare with one step and transport in a bag. You’ll find bags become very useful. Have someone leave snack foods by you, because even if you can get up to go get it, you pretty much have to eat it right there because you can’t carry it – how annoying is that- and trust me, you won’t want to be standing around on one leg, you’ll be sore enough as it is.

Did I mention that crutches are the devil?

Day 5 – First Post-Op Appt!

Ah, the joys of day 5. This surgery surprises me everyday, I feel like I’m in a choose your own adventure book. At some point today, I chose the wrong road! First things first – I learned that Jeff Keppinger had a sesamoid bone removed from his left foot on Jan 14! How cool is that!!! I’m right with you Kepp!!! Here’s a link to that:

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=6000675

Like I said before, we decided to take less pain meds, so I took 1/2 a pill at 3:00am and that was the last time I took some until 9:00pm tonight.. but we’ll come back to that. I felt fine all day, my foot was doing extremely well, and I had my appetite back, no nausea! YAY!  I think I took 2 ibuprofen to make me feel better – more mentally than physically. A good friend of mine came over to help me wash my hair in the sink, and get cleaned up. I can’t get my foot wet – so shower’s aren’t an option, and baths are even a huge pain. I was feeling pretty good about the whole foot situation. My back was starting to hurt me quite a bit, wasn’t sure if it was from laying in bed for the last few days, or because I was putting ALL my weight on my right side when using the crutches (note: Still HORRIBLE to try to use the restroom!).

I was nervous about my appointment that the doc was going to poke or prod at my foot and it would hurt, but the appointment was great! He took off the mounds and mounds of gauze and bandages, and I got my husband to take a picture! I was so excited to see it. My little foot looked shriveled up but wasn’t even black & blue. It looked much better than I expected. As promised.. here’s your picture! He put some antisceptic on it, and wrapped it back up.

I think it looks pretty cool!

 

The doc told me it looks good. Oh, by the way, I had mentioned they sent my bone to pathology, everything came back okay there! He said it was “just a really smashed up bone”. haha. I think my foot looks pretty cool. I’m still shocked that’s what it looks like.. like a normal foot with a bunch of stuff stuck to it! So far so good though, still happy I did this. He actually told me to start walking on it a little. Not too much though, or I could bust the stitches and the incision. But this is helpful because I don’t know if my right side could handle much more of this. Got another new boot (to add to my collection) that forces me to put all the weight on my heel.  After I’m through with this, I’ll post a pic of all my foot paraphernalia acquired over the past year.

My New Boot!

Thats all I got on the foot update. However, back to my choosing the wrong adventure. I had mentioned my back was hurting me. Well I tried putting a heating pad on it, but it ony got worse. I got stuck laying on my bed for over an hour with it spasming every time I tried to get up. NOT FUN. Enter Pain meds. Yep – not for the foot, but for the back. I’m going to have to be more careful about lying down and not sitting up straight. Hopefully I’ll be able to get around fine tomorrow. All I can say is thank God for my husband. I don’t know what I would have done without him tonight.

Tomorrow should be pretty easy, I’m working from home, the fun will start on Thursday when I get back to the office.